A remarkable journey with my mother

The name MOTHER indicates the sacrifices and priorities she gives to her children, her focus towards the well being of her child, their growth, development and welfare. My relationship with my mother for the last six decades had always been full of love mixed with few contradictions in views /perceptions, but it is very special to me as we share all our feelings/ emotions and this led to close bond between us.

Grew up in a lower middle class family with a minimal salary of my father, my mother being housewife (studied up to 8th form in a village THINNAI education system in Karaikal District). We four including my elder brother lived in West Mambalam Chennai in a single room by paying monthly rent of Rs 30/- out of my father’s salary of Rs 300/- in 1965 using common toilets . No water facility within the house and water had to be fetched from outside. With lots of challenges we lived in that rented house. We were asked to vacate the house by the owner and finding another house was a herculean task to my mother. Amidst the above, we lived in many houses and led our childhood journey with a monthly rent between Rs 50 and 70/-

After undergoing varied difficulties, my mother had developed a strong urge to get into a own house somehow with lots of pressure, she purchased a land for Rs 2500/- in Madipakkam Chennai in the year 1974, a remote area with no infrastructure. That 2500 rupee was huge money for her which she mobilized by joining in a monthly chit fund of Rs 100/- for 10 months and arranged for the balance money from borrowing for interest. It was a very lonely place where wolves used to roam around. She pledged her jewelry that has been put by her father at the time of wedding and initiated the work.

My father was innocent and she took the leadership role and proceeded with the goal to construct an independent house of 600 sq. ft. She had no idea about construction, lay out approvals, architecture, building plan, handling mestris getting loans etc., Here, my mother’s aim and determination played a pivotal role to proceed with construction of house with the minimum available resources. Approaching many friends, with her strong urge to own a house, she got a contact from the Co-operative society and arranged for getting plan layout and loan of Rs 35000/-

Upon sanction of loan, she had asked a contractor to commence the construction and given him Rs 20000 out of the loan sanctioned and the contractor raised the building up to lintel level, abandoned the project in the middle and ran away. She was left in lurch. The daily persuasion with him was futile and my mother got deceived.

After the initial fall, she again approached a local MESTRI for completion of the job and was with him everyday and monitored the progress. The building came up to roof level. His cost was too high and my mother was unable to manage the cost hike. She suffered for mobilization of funds and got exhausted. Even at this juncture her focus was only towards how to resolve the issue and go with her goal. She left no stone unturned.

She fell down again but wanted to rise again. Again she made arrangements with a strong attitude and determination to complete the building. Meanwhile mestri demanded heavy money and started applying pressure. The emotional pang was terrible and she did not want to give up and step back . Adding fuel to the fire my father’s job was lost. Literally she was in anguish. She sold the diamond ear ring and mobilized amount and finally she had completed the construction 95% and with a great sigh of relief did house warming ceremony in 1975 and entered into the house. Every brick and stone congratulated her for the determination.

She was successful in her goal and had a fulfilment that she completed construction of small house (for her it is a mini bungalow) and I was able to feel the sense of glory in her face. The incorrigible optimism at the time of crisis, her determination, go getter attitude made her achieve the goal. The name of the house is “SRI KRUPA”. For all the hard work all the suffering, god has blessed her with a beautiful garden where jasmine flower, hibiscus, roses of all colors, mango tree, coconut trees, banana trees, vegetables were blossomed and she experienced the joy bountifully. The garden was maintained professionally and her everyday pooja to God gave her additional strength to run the family with cheer.

The entire family was brought to a cheerful fulfilled phase because of my mother’s attitude, determination and trait of coping up the tough situation. I being her daughter had witnessed all the difficult situations and a great bond was developed between me and her.

This experience gave me an inference that studies is nothing to do with life when you have strong common sense by observing others and determination to face the challenges with strong attitude. She is a source of inspiration for me even now and this strong bond is the main asset I have inherited from her. She will never see the fall ,she will see how to raise after the fall at any point of time.

I am 61 now and she is an octogenarian no matter what happens, my mother is always there beside me cheering me up and motivating me. She lighted my life by imbibing this great quality. My every moment is filled with gratitude and I would like to connect with her by showing care, addressing her feeling, apologizing when I do something wrong or hurt her, showing empathy, giving importance to her well-being. She is ILLITERATE GENIUS with height of observation, understanding people, logical thinking, coping up stress and finding solutions to the problems. The higher you are hit the harder you should rise is the mantra I have learnt from her.

Finally, my mother is my source of inspiration to encounter any ordeals with determination irrespective of the challenges life throws. I learnt that determined people are so committed to their path or achieving a goal that they are resilient in the face of obstacles. She had played to her strengths which created a deep bond with her and I have very much applied the same determination throughout my life, including my career and accomplished many things . What I am today is because of her. I owe my gratitude for the influential bond and remarkable journey of love and strength between us.